


How My Brother May Honour Me

by Name_Pending



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Samwell Tarly Is A Good Friend, Sansa Stark is Queen in the North, Season/Series 08, Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 06:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Name_Pending/pseuds/Name_Pending
Summary: Set during the Finale.Jon Snow is visited in his cell in King's Landing by Samwell Tarly, his oldest friend who has come to say goodbye and ask Jon one last important question.





	How My Brother May Honour Me

Sam looks nervous when he finally visits Jon, though neither of them really know why. Nervous isn’t a word that has ever applied to the two of them together, even when months have passed as they have since they last saw each other at Winterfell. Jon doesn’t see why it should start now, right at the end. Sam says hello and Jon replies in kind, but then there’s silence and it’s not normal or comfortable for them. Maybe it’s just the way this cell makes people feel.

“What’s wrong, Sam?”

He knows Sam is standing there struggling to find what to say and Jon assumes he has simply come to say goodbye, like a few others already have. Now that it has been decided to exile Jon to the Wall, a compromise that nobody is happy with but everybody has agreed to, several people have already said their goodbyes. Jon has received them all with as much kindness as he can muster and he’s tired already. He still hasn’t seen Bran or his sisters - his cousins - and they are the ones he truly longs to see.

Sam, though, is a close second to his family. Sam is the only brother that remains to him now, and Jon refuses to waste this opportunity when he will never see him again.

“Sam?” he presses gently. “What is it?”

“The King has named me Grand Maester.”

Well, that’s not what Jon was expecting.

Jon stares at his friend for a moment before he smiles, and it’s probably the most genuine smile he’s managed since before King’s Landing burned. Grand Maester Samwell Tarly; it sounds right and it fits his dear friend so well, far better than Brother of the Night’s Watch ever did.

“That’s amazing, Sam. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

Sam is looking at his feet instead of at his friend as he speaks. Most people would assume aloofness or rudeness, but not Jon. Jon knows him well enough to realise that Sam is at a loss for words and a bit overwhelmed, and he can’t hold that against him. He thinks the polite thing to do is probably to offer Sam a chair but there isn’t one in this cell, and the floor’s filthy enough that he thinks Sam is better off standing than trying to kneel on the ground. Jon had risen when Sam entered with that in mind in the first place; for most people he hadn’t bothered.

“When does the new appointment start?”

“It already has” Sam says quietly, still not looking up. “King Bran is … making appointments as quickly as he can, but we’re still short half a Small Council.”

Jon doesn’t really know what to say, so he keeps the talk simple. “Who else has been appointed?”

“Ser Davos. He’s the new Master of Ships. And Lady Brienne … Ser Brienne, she agreed to take over the King’s Guard.” Sam’s lips twitch into a smile and it shows in his voice when he continues. “She almost turned him down to stay with Lady Sansa, but your sister insisted.”

Jon smiles, too, at the thought of it.

“We should probably call her Queen Sansa now” Sam adds, for want of anything else to say. “They say she’s to be made the Queen in the North. So the King says, anyway.”

“The North couldn’t be in better hands.” Jon means this, and Sam at last looks up and meets his eyes when he recognises the conviction in his friend’s tone. “Sansa deserves this. She’ll look after them.”

Sam nods and tries to meet Jon’s smile but he fails abysmally, and before he can stop himself the words are tumbling out of his mouth: “It’s not right. What they’re doing to you.”

Jon doesn’t reply. There’s nothing to say. It’s not fair to send him to the Wall which does not need to be guarded any longer but he knows there is no alternative - the King must keep the peace, and Jon is the most divisive character in all the Kingdoms now. Half want him freed and half want him dead, and the Wall is the only place that they can reluctantly agree on. Jon doesn’t get a choice; he gave up his freedom when he plunged his dagger into the Dragon Queen and accepted his guilt without a fight.

“It is what it is, Sam.”

“Still. It’s not right.”

Sam’s eyes are glassy now and Jon hopes he’s not going to cry, because he doesn’t know if he’s capable of comfort any more.

“I’ve talked to the King to try and get him to change his mind, but...”

“Don’t” Jon interrupts. “Let it be, Sam. They could do a lot worse to me after what I did.”

“You did the right thing, though. She was the one who ... ” Sam trails off, because there’s no need to specify. They all know what she did. “I wish I could go with you.”

“No, you don’t.” Jon steps closer to his friend and only continues when Sam can maintain eye contact. “I appreciate that, Sam, and I will miss you. But you’re needed here. The country needs the Grand Maester and you’ve got your family to think of.”

This, at least, brings a smile to Sam’s face. Mention of Gilly always did.

Sam suddenly starts, causing Jon to step back, because he wasn’t really expecting it. Sam is grinning now, though, and his honest joy is a mystery but a welcome one.

“That was the other thing I meant to tell you!” Sam says excitedly. “Gilly gave birth two days ago.”

It takes only a second for a grin to spread across Jon’s face, his friend’s delight catching, and only another for him to close the distance between them and embrace his brother tightly.

“That’s wonderful, Sam” he says honestly, his smile still in place as he pulls back to share it with his friend. “A boy or girl?”

“I have a daughter.”

Sam’s eyes are wet again but Jon doesn’t mind this time because these are happy tears and the country has been in short supply of those recently.

“She and Gilly are both doing well,” Sam says. “And Little Sam is fascinated by her. He’s going to make a wonderful big brother.”

“I’m happy for you, Sam.”

“Thank you.”

The two smile at one another again, but it’s strained now - Jon is genuinely happy for Sam but Sam cannot be happy for Jon’s position, and they both feel the shadow this casts over them even as they resolutely try to ignore it. The fact that Gilly’s babe has arrived serves as an unwelcome reminder of how long Jon has been here in this cell while his friends and family and the people who hate him decide on his fate and sluggishly make preparations for his removal to the Wall.

Still, this will almost certainly be their last meeting, and there is no sense in ruining it with things that cannot be changed.

“Well thank the Gods it’s a girl, then” Jon says, trying to lighten the mood. “No offence, Sam, but I’m not sure Jon Tarly works.”

Sam manages a quiet laugh, knowing that Jon is still embarrassed to think his friend would name his child for him. Still, Sam is no liar.

“I still like it, and so does Gilly. If we ever have another son that’s what we’re going to call him.”

Jon rolls his eyes fondly, flattered even as he feels undeserving of such an honour.

“Pray you only ever have daughters” Jon mutters, but he nudges Sam playfully to show he’s joking. “Never mind a future babe, what did you call this one?”

“We haven’t chosen a name yet” Sam says, looking at Jon with an expression that is all of a sudden nervous. “We have an idea but we … I thought it best to run it past you first.”

“By me?” Jon asks, surprised at the idea.

“We wanted to make sure it was okay with you. You don’t have to say yes, there are plenty of names.”

“I don’t think I get to choose your daughter’s name, Sam.”

“We want to name her Lyanna.”

Oh. Jon’s mouth falls slightly open, the answer not being what he was anticipating.

“Gilly likes the name, she thinks it’s pretty. And I thought that … well, since we’re like brothers and it was your mother’s name and ... now you can’t ...”

Jon holds up a hand to stop him talking and nods to show that he understands what Sam is trying to say.

He is to be exiled to the Wall and he will never have his own children. He will never hold his own daughter and name her for the mother he never knew. His mother’s name is all he really knows about her, and with those who knew her gone he has to be content with the small gift of at least finally knowing who she was. Her name is all he has of his mother.

Jon will never honour his mother with a granddaughter bearing her name, but Sam is his brother in all but blood and he _wants_ to honour her, honour Jon this way.

There are tears in Jon’s eyes when he nods and gives his blessing. “That would be wonderful, Sam.”

Sam breaths out a gust of air that he probably didn’t realise he was holding. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. Lyanna Tarly. We’ll tell her about you, Jon. Her and Little Sam both.” Sam’s breath hitches. “I wish you could meet her.”

“So do I.”

The two smile sadly at one another, and neither comments on Sam’s trembling lower lip or the tear making its way down Jon’s cheek.

“I’m going to miss you” Sam whispers.

Jon simply nods and conveys without words that Sam isn’t going to miss him nearly as much as he is going to miss Sam. At least Sam has his family; at the Wall Jon’s only companions will be the cold and his own haunted memories.

“Look after your family, Sam” Jon tells him.

Sam accepts his advice graciously, hearing what Jon is not saying.

_Look after this gift that I will never know._

“I will.”

Sam pulls Jon into his arms again, but this time it’s not a brief, joyful embrace, it’s a sorrowful clinging that comes from knowing this is the last time your brother will be within your reach. Jon’s head falls onto Sam’s shoulder and for the first time ever the tables have turned and Jon is one who needs protection and reassurance. Sam holds him tightly, secure that he can be the strong one now, especially for the person who made it possible in the first place.

“You’re going to be okay, Jon” Sam whispers, rubbing Jon’s back with one hand in the practiced motion of a caretaker. “I promise. You’re going to be fine.”

Jon doesn’t reply but he stays enveloped in his friend’s warm arms for longer than he probably should, long enough that the tears he can’t stop from falling have dried by the time he pulls away. He faces his friend with red eyes that Sam notices but doesn’t shame his friend by mentioning.

The two share a sad smile, knowing that there is nothing left to say and it is time for Sam to go. He has his family and his new position to return to, and Jon has to remain here and wait for the preparations he has no control over to be complete for his journey north.

“You deserve this, you know” Jon says, his voice rough but his tone kind. “Gilly and the children, Grand Maester … you’ve worked hard to get here. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you. And you will do well in the North, Jon. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but … I think if anyone is going to be okay up there, it will be you.”

Jon nods once, because he knows what Sam means and these good wishes are all Sam, or anybody, has to offer him now.

“Well … I’d best be off. There’s a lot to do.”

“I can imagine. Take care of yourself, Sam.”

“You too, Jon.”

Sam claps Jon’s shoulder once, squeezes too tightly and lingers too long, and then he turns away and moves to the door. The guard outside opens the door and Sam steps halfway out before he turns back to smile one last time at Jon Snow, the man who saved him and made all this possible.

“Goodbye, Jon.”

Jon raises his hand and waves a silent farewell, smiling as his friend is ushered out of the cell and the door is closed and locked behind him. He hears the steps gets fainter as Sam disappears away from the cells and back to his new life.

Alone in the cell, Jon’s hand falls to his side.

“Goodbye, Sam.”


End file.
